


Devotion or Heresy

by Subtlety Lost (fishstic)



Series: Named for Andraste [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Gen, Multi, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21592708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishstic/pseuds/Subtlety%20Lost
Summary: There's not much Leliana isn't aware of in Haven, sometimes because she's the Spymaster, other times because people happen to be talking where she can hear them. Usuaully, if something happens in Haven, Leliana is aware of it. Lately, most of the focus has been on the Herald of Andraste--Andrea Trevelyan, and after Andrea allows Leliana to overhear a conversation between her and a chantry sister from Ostwick, Leliana starts to wonder just how much of the reason Andrea is in Haven is truly coincidence, and how much just might actually be Divine Intervention.
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Josephine Montilyet, Leliana/Female Warden (Dragon Age)
Series: Named for Andraste [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310834
Kudos: 31





	Devotion or Heresy

**Author's Note:**

> It's mentioned in the fic, but I'll mention it again here: 
> 
> Andrea: A name in Common deriving from Andraste--similar in theme to naming your child Christian, Chris, or Mary in the real world.
> 
> \--  
> Andrea studied at the Chantry from the age of two, when she first learned to speak, until she fell ill when she was eight. During that time, her personal goal was to become the Divine and make it so it would be illegal for people to not be able to access food. 
> 
> Andrea rejoined the Chantry six years prior to the beginning of Inquisition, as a direct result of her mage brother and a templar helping her to not bleed to death in the aftermath of a duel that she was unwillingly a participant in.
> 
> Now, Andrea is wanted for the murder of Divine Justinia, and it's nothing short of heresy in the eyes of the Chantry that people are calling her "The Herald of Andraste."  
> 

Among the topics of conversation around Haven that the Spymaster Leliana, otherwise known as Sister Nightingale—or the Right Hand of Divine Justinia—, kept track of perhaps the most interesting ones were those of the so called Herald of Andraste. The Herald was Andrea Trevelyan, a young woman from Ostwick. There were many rumors about her, some saying that she killed the Divine to up her chances of becoming the new Divine—bullshit in Leliana’s opinion from what she’d seen of Andrea the woman probably couldn’t kill a fly without crying about it.

Leliana was privy to many of the other strange rumors about Andrea. Rumors that said things like she’d caused her own mother’s death when she was a small child—something Leliana had heard was being spread straight from the mouth of the Teyrn of Ostwick, Andrea’s oldest brother Tomas. Though Leliana was having trouble puzzling out why—other than trying to discredit the Herald in the eyes of the few people who actually believed she was a good thing—Tomas would spread such a terrible rumor about his youngest sister.

That particular rumor was disputed by Andrea’s self-proclaimed ‘best friend in the world’ Josephine Montilyet--Leliana's key source on _reliable_ information about Andrea. Josephine’s take on the situation in question was that she’d been told by her own mother that Andrea’s mother had gotten sick several weeks prior to Andrea catching the same illness. Josephine also noted that, according to her mother, the illness would have killed Andrea too if she hadn't been willing to let the healers at the Circle of Magi help her.

There were other rumors, one stating that Andrea was poised to take over for Revered Mother Emmaline of Ostwick in the event anything should happen to the woman; another stating that Andrea had stabbed her own uncle, and it was unclear as to why; and yet another that stated she related by marriage to Nevarran royalty--odd considering she wasn’t married at all.

The positioning of Leliana’s tent, directly across the path from the entrance to the Chantry meant that Leliana was also privy to the exact moment that Andrea approached the fire that a couple scouts and Chantry Sisters were warming up at and sat down in the snow a short distance away from it.

For all the interesting rumors about the Herald, there were actually a lot of facts that Leliana did know. The Herald was a cousin of Ella Cousland—one of the Wardens that helped end the Fifth Blight. She was also a close friend of Lady Josephine Montilyet—the Inquisition’s Ambassador—which was odd to think about, considering Andrea seemed to be ignoring Josephine all together.

Andrea had matched up pretty well to what Leliana had heard from Josephine. She was tall—though not as tall as Ella—, hardworking, dedicated, quiet, and had the same ‘sandy brownish blonde’ hair that Josephine had mentioned. But even so, there was a lot that was still up for debate about Andrea—like how she’d gotten that scar across her jawline, or why she’d turly come to Haven in the first place.

“Keep staring,” Meiriana interrupted quietly, placing a hand on Leliana’s arm to draw her attention away from the Herald. “And she’s _sure_ to believe you’re spying on her. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, defeats the purpose of spying in the first place.”

Leliana blinked and looked down at her Elven girlfriend, Meiriana Mahariel, the Hero of Ferelden. Thinking about that honorific, even for just a moment, made her a little angry all over again that Meiriana was forced to act ‘officially’ as nothing more than her assistant, despite Meiriana being more experienced at commanding an army than Cullen.

Most of the soldiers here were former Templars, and Cassandra had felt they would be more willing to work for the Inquisition if their Commander was a former Templar himself. It didn't make sense to Leliana, if she were honest--and she had been honest to the point of arguing with Cassandra over it, multiple times. Even some of the soldiers disagreed, as was evidenced by the fact that quite often they’d come to Meiriana for advice if Cullen said something they were confused about.

More than once she had to mitigate between Cullen and Meiriana because they disagreed heavily on how the Inquisition’s forces should be used. It was tiring, for both her and Meiriana. Meiriana had led the force that ended the Blight in Ferelden a decade earlier. Even the current Warden-Commander of Ferelden, Ella, deferred to Meiriana’s judgement when it came to actually commanding troops in battle. She’d also heard a fairly reliable rumor that the King of Ferelden had asked for Meiriana’s advice several times regarding the Mage Rebellion and how to handle it.

“Maybe that is the intention,” she replied.

Meiriana shook her head and turned away. “What good is spying on someone if they know you’re doing it? I thought you would be better at spying than that, _Spymaster_ ,” she teased. “Why are you spying on the Herald?”

Leliana shook her head. “The Herald is waiting on something,” she noted. “There are other fires, other places she could wait. Whatever is going to happen, if she didn’t want me to be aware of it, she would have gone somewhere else for it.”

Leliana was not actually sure this was true, but it was a good bet. From what she’d observed so far, Andrea was a fairly solitary individual. She would occasionally speak to Cassandra or Varric, but she seemed to completely ignore Cullen and Solas, and she seemed _afraid_ of her.

It appeared to her, that Andrea only ever let herself be observed when she _wanted_ to be observed, any other time she would hide herself away to ‘meditate.’ This was also something Josephine had mentioned. Though Josephine had said that Andrea seemed to be hiding away a ‘great deal more’ now than when she’d known her in the past.

Meiriana shrugged. “Here comes the something,” she mused as a Chantry sister approached Andrea with a cup of something that was giving off steam.

“You’ll catch cold sitting on the snow like that,” the Sister observed. “You really shouldn’t do that.”

Andrea shrugged as the Sister handed her the cup.

“The Revered Mother warned you about this many times,” the Sister continued. “Yet you still do it.”

Again, Andrea just shrugged. She stared at the cup in her hands like she was trying to decide if it was worth drinking, or perhaps if it was cool enough to drink without burning her tongue.

The Sister sighed. “For what it’s worth, Revered Mother Emmaline believed in you. She never stopped believing that you could change the world someday.”

“Maybe she should have stopped believing that,” Andrea replied quietly. “I’m the worst choice for any of this, Henrietta. I came all this way with her, to help her help the Divine and now... now she and the Divine and all the rest of them are _dead._ ”

“Do you still want to be the Divine?” Henrietta asked. “Not a whole lot of people left in Thedas qualified to be the Divine. You might have a better chance than you think.”

Andrea laughed. “You really believe that? Henrietta, they _literally_ accused me of _murdering_ Justinia. Even if I did still want to be the Divine, I _can’t_. That path is closed to me. No amount of work, not a morsel of good will and faith, not a single ounce of dedication and prayers will open it again. Even if they can find _proof_ that I am telling the truth and did _not_ kill the Divine, even then, it will remain closed to me. It’s always been somewhere between devotion and heresy that my mother named me after Andraste, being called Her Herald doesn’t do me any favors, even if I’m fairly sure I’m not some chosen hero come to save anyone.”

In that whole speech, Andrea hadn’t moved a muscle. That was something Josephine had mentioned only once, Andrea seemed at times to be able to sit completely still for _hours_ and not be bothered by it, even when she was talking or telling a story.

“When you were little,” Henrietta replied soothingly, like a mother trying to calm a frightened child, “you couldn’t even say the word ‘Divine’ or pronounce the name of the current Divine at the time, but you _insisted_ that’s who you were going to be some day. You insisted you would become that so no one would ever have to go hungry again.”

“People change, Henrietta,” Andrea replied, “That was 23 years ago.”

“People do,” Henrietta agreed, “but even as people change, who they are at heart usually stays the same. You’re still the person who gives their food to strangers even if it means you’ll go without, just so that they do not have to.”

Andrea shook her head. “That doesn’t mean much other than I’m not heartless,” she replied. “Have you heard anything from my siblings? I’m most worried about Jack and Tomas. I have not heard from either of them, and considering how troublesome Tomas usually is to me, that is very concerning.”

“Jack is the Mage, right?” Henrietta replied. “The Mage that wasn’t here at the Concl—the one that stayed behind?”

Andrea nodded, and Leliana could have _sworn_ the look she had on her face was pained. “Jack’s the mage that still lives, yes.”

“Jack wants to leave Ostwick, but the Teyrn—that’s Tomas right? I have trouble with your siblings names, you have so many,” Henrietta said apologetically, “Tomas won’t permit him to leave. He’s been seeking passage across the Waking Sea, but no one dares go against the Teyrn and take him aboard their ship.”

Andrea was quiet for a moment, then held up her cup toward Leliana and smiled. “I’m sure the Spymaster can arrange for Jack to join me here, even if he has to be _conscripted_ for it to happen.” Then she _finally_ drank from the cup.

“You actually want him here?” Henrietta asked. “How’s the tea? You should probably drink it while it’s still at least warm. Lady Montilyet would appreciate that.”

“Conscripted,” Meiriana mused, and Leliana turned slightly to look at her. “Yes, I think that could be arranged, don’t you, Spymaster?”

Leliana nodded. “Can you find your way to Ostwick alone? Or will you need some help?”

Meiriana shook her head, though her answer was positive for going alone. “If the Teyrn is adamant about the Mage not leaving the city, the rest of your agents will only make matters more complex. I’ll prepare for the journey, and have to stop by Vigil’s Keep along the way to retrieve my armor. Come morning, I will be already on my way.”

“I’m sure Andrea will appreciate it,” Leliana replied. Though she wasn’t sure what the real reason for Andrea’s request was, Josephine had made it sound like none of Andrea’s siblings liked her much.

“The tea is, pardon the turn of phrase, divine,” Andrea replied. “You mentioned Jos—Lady Montilyet?”

“She made the tea, specifically for you,” Henrietta replied. “She said that it was your favorite and she would not be happy if you didn’t drink it.”

Andrea nodded and stood up, drinking down the tea as she did. “Interesting. I do want Jack here,” she said, moving closer to the fire before sitting down again. “He might have given me the scar, but I do not blame him for it. If Tomas fought fair—never mind, that’s too much to expect.”

“You never told any of us at the Chantry what started the fight,” Henrietta replied. “You didn’t talk much for those first few months after it.”

“Tomas was trying to arrange a marriage for me, but I had other ideas,” Andrea replied. “I was going to leave Ostwick, and head to Ant—it doesn’t matter now. Back then it was the most important thing in the world to me. Now, now I have a chance to take it back and I cannot. I...” she bit her lip. “Henrietta, the most important woman in the world is inside that Chantry right now, and I don’t even have the courage to tell her I remember what she used to mean to me, and that she _still_ means it to me.”

Andrea sighed and held the cup close to her. “I never told Jos—Lady Montilyet what my family was like behind closed doors. I never told anyone. Somethings were just better kept a secret. Some secrets are not so well kept. Tomas is, and always will be, the most deplorable man to live in Ostwick proper. He challenged Jack to a duel, it was supposed to be a fair fight, they were both armed with daggers.”

“But Tomas... doesn’t fight fair?” Henrietta guessed.

“Not in the slightest,” Andrea replied. “I was begging them not to fight, but Tomas had given Jack ‘his word’ that if Jack won the duel I would be free to leave Ostwick. To ensure he would not lose the duel, Tomas pushed me in front of him, to act as a shield. Jack and I barely had time to realize what had happened, by the time we did Tomas was already flaunting his victory back home.”

“Tomas left you there to die,” Henrietta gasped.

“Yeah, that’s kind of his way,” Andrea replied. “He left me there to die, and Jack used his healing magic to help me. I forced him not to heal it completely. To let the Brothers at the Chantry do what they could without magic for the cut that remained. I wanted a scar, a physical reminder of just how dead-set against me being happy Tomas is. I... I honestly don’t even know what I ever did to make him hate me so much.”

“You joined the Chantry,” Henrietta noted, “instead of leaving Ostwick.”

“I’m not in Ostwick now,” Andrea replied. “So it must have been the right decision. Plus I almost died because I wanted to leave, I’m not stupid enough to make that same mistake twice. Now, the Chantry wants nothing to do with me, and Tomas would probably have me arrested the moment I set foot back in Ostwick. One day, I will be strong enough to depose him. Cassandra’s been teaching me to fight, and there will come a day when the Breach is closed, when the Chantry is strong again, and the Inquisition is no longer needed. Then I will return to Ostwick and claim the throne from that tyrant.”

“Your mother wouldn’t want that for you,” Henrietta replied. “If I were you, I’d send word to Nevarra and see if your sister is willing to return.”

“I’m not going to bother Evelyn over this,” Andrea argued. “I barely know her anyway, she left when I was 12. And, though it pains me to say this, it doesn’t matter what my mother would have wanted. Josephine’s mother wanted me to marry her daughter. Mothers don’t always get what they want.”

Henrietta blinked and shook her head. “I think you and Lady Montilyet would make for a cute couple. If Lady Montilyet’s mother wanted you to marry Lady Montilyet, why didn’t you?”

Andrea chuckled slightly. “We were young and stupid,” she replied. “Josie didn’t think we were old enough. Which, I don’t remember exactly how old we were. Did you know she and I were born just a month and a half apart? I was told a few years later that she said no to marrying me because she wanted to have kids someday.” Her smile and chuckle disappeared then. “I don’t remember who told me that, but I remember feeling heartbroken. I remember trying to learn if two girls married each other could they adopt kids. Then I remember asking someone about how adoption and inheritance works in Antiva. I think it was my cousin Fergus’ wife.”

“What did you learn?”

“That she died when Arl Howe betrayed the Couslands at the start of the Fifth Blight, and Ferelden’s Civil War,” Andrea replied. “Less than a month after I’d asked her to look into it for me.” She shook her head. “Fergus told me a couple years later that she’d sent her mother a letter asking my questions, but she hadn’t received a response before the attack, and he still hadn’t figured out if her mother ever even got that letter.” She smiled, though Leliana could tell just how forced it was. “There is singularly nothing in this world that I regret more than losing contact with Josephine. Now that I have it—her—back, I’m terrified to talk to her.”

“If you want,” Henrietta replied, “I could talk to Lady Montilyet for you and try to explain why you haven’t spoken to her yet.”

Andrea shook her head. “No,” she replied quickly, then with a nervous chuckle said, “I mean, no, thank you. The things that need to be said between Jose—Lady Montilyet and I, need to be said by her and I personally.”

Henrietta nodded. “That will never happen if you don’t work up some courage,” she replied. “And stop sitting in the snow, I’m sure Adan doesn’t want to be wasting resources to make potions just to fight a cold because you think it’s fun to freeze your butt off.”

“Excuse me, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, Henrietta, but Haven is nothing but snow,” Andrea replied. “And sitting in it hasn’t made me sick yet.”

“The important word there is ‘yet,’” Henrietta replied. “Shall I inform Lady Montilyet that you enjoyed the tea?”

Andrea nodded. “Absolutely.”

After Henrietta left with the empty cup in hand, Andrea stood, stretched, and then walked over to Leliana’s tent. Leliana nodded. “Learn anything new about me?” she asked.

“I had thought,” Leliana replied motioning Andrea to follow her further into the tent where Meiriana was standing having signed ‘Ask her what he looks like?’ to her. “That you having wanted to be the Divine, was mere speculation. A rumor trying to give reason to why you would have killed Justinia. I was not aware it was something you had actually wanted at some point. Josephine did not mention it.”

“By the time Josephine and I were... the last time we spoke, I had given up on that dream,” Andrea replied. “I had thought I would never get to return to the Chantry, because my father and Tomas did not let me leave the house much.”

“My agents in the Hinterlands often send reports about how your generous and kind actions have left lasting impacts for the better out there,” Leliana replied. “They say that you always try to find a nonviolent solution to every encounter. If anyone were to be Divine, you would be a good choice.”

“I disagree,” Andrea stated. “What is your friend trying to ask me? I recognize that the hand signs are words, but I don’t recognize them as words I understand.”

“Meiriana—”

“The Hero of Ferelden?” Andrea interrupted. “Maker, I feel really dumb not recognizing her. Wait, if she’s with the Inquisition why is she not in charge of the soldiers? Isn’t her whole job with the Grey-Wardens to boss people around?”

“I agree, but now is not the time to argue about that,” Leliana sighed. “Meiriana is trying to ask you what Jack looks like.”

“Oh,” Andrea replied. “He looks like me, kind of, but his hair is red and he’s not as skinny. You’ll be able to recognize him right off, he’s the only mage that’s brave enough to wander the city alone. He’s also the only one allowed in the Trevelyan manor.” She frowned slightly then. “You’ll most likely find him either within the Manor grounds, or somewhere near the Chantry, likely helping out. He’s a talented healer. If you ask people about him, tell anyone _other_ than the guards or the Teyrn that I sent you, they’ll point you to him. If anyone else asks, I’m sure you can figure something out.”

“The Grey-Wardens are always looking for talented healers,” Meiriana replied.

“Might I ask, Andrea,” Leliana interrupted. “Why do you disagree that you’d be a good Divine?”

“Well first, because the Chantry thinks I killed Justinia, no one would listen to me,” Andrea replied. “And second because being kind and pacifistic does not mean I’d make for a good Divine. The Writ of the Divine, handed to Cassandra by Divine Beatrix clearly laid out the plans for how this Inquisition would work should things keep heading down the dark path we’re treading. Justinia saw the war coming and took action to prevent it, but failed. I wouldn’t have waited this long. I would have stopped all this trouble before it began, but it does not make me a good Divine. It would have made me a great deal of enemies.”

“What would you have done?” Leliana asked.

“The Templars are the problem,” Andrea replied. “I would have eliminated the problem. They shouldn’t be inside the circles. The circles are schools. You wouldn’t want your child to go to a school where armed guards wandered around regularly harassing any student who caused any kind of trouble, even if it was just simple childish acts like running in the halls or mouthing off to a teacher. Would you? Why should the mages have to deal with that? Sure, I’d keep the Templars nearby just in case, but like, they shouldn’t be inside the circle unless there’s trouble the mages can’t handle on their own. The circles are meant to teach mages to control their gifts not to teach them to fear the thought of existing the way they do.”

“You say that last part like you know how that feels,” Leliana noted.

“In a way, I do,” Andrea replied. “When I was little it wasn’t so bad. I had the twins and my youngest older sister, and my younger brother. I wasn’t alone. I would study at the Chantry, then one day, it all changed. Mother got really sick, I got really sick too. She died, I survived. Things got really bad after that. My father couldn’t stand to look at me, all my other older siblings were training to be Templars but Markus had been taken to the circle. Jack was the only one left. Then not long after, he was also sent to the circle. It was just me and Tomas. Our oldest sister had moved to Nevarra to marry some Pentaghast that I’m not entirely sure isn’t related in some way to Cassandra. I felt so alone. Tomas always made me feel really bad about everything I’d do, and my father would always echo everything Tomas said.

“Things got really bad, especially after Josephine and I... After something we did at a party got people’s attention. Father figured out I like girls, Tomas started trying to arrange a marriage so I couldn’t ‘dishonor’ the family. Things got hectic, fast. I started being really afraid of talking to anyone, of telling anyone anything. I was afraid they’d tell Tomas and he’d tell Father. I was never really sure what I thought would happen if someone told Father, but I didn’t think it would be good. No one should have to live like that every single day. Some mages are much better people than I. It’s not right that they live in constant fear of the people who are supposed to be there to help and protect them.”

“How does this lead to Jack coming here,” Leliana mused. “I wasn’t aware you were on speaking terms with any of your family.”

“I don’t know who told you that, but it’s bull—It’s a lie,” Andrea replied. “Jack is my best friend. I would visit him in the circle, talk to him. He would tell me all about his training, the things he was learning, the boy he had a crush on. Things like that. It felt nice, I felt like he was someone who truly understood me. Jack never told anyone else in the family that he likes men, because Tomas told us that my liking girls was why no one ever stepped in to stop the people at the family parties who were... less than appropriate with me, Jack feared if people knew he liked boys then they’d start harassing him at the parties too.”

“You must want Jack here pretty badly then,” Leliana said.

“I do,” Andrea said, “like I said, he’s my best friend. He’s one of the most important people I’ve got in my life. The other being well, Lady Montilyet. Even if I can’t find the courage to speak to her, she still means the world to me. There’s a lot of Trevelyans and people related to them in the world. It’s a small place to be, Thedas, one time at some party, I met a man from Tevinter and we found each other on the family tree. It was such a distant relation, ten generations separating us, that I almost wasn’t sure I believed it to be real.”

Leliana nodded. “Before you leave, Andrea, I would suggest that you speak with Josephine sooner, rather than later, she’s quite convinced that the scar—or rather whatever caused it—has made you forget her. I dislike seeing her so sad, please try to find the courage to tell her, if nothing else, that you do at least remember her.”

Andrea blushed and mumbled something Leliana did not understand before heading off—distinctly not in the direction of the Chantry. Leliana chuckled slightly, as did Meiriana.

“She’s almost as embarrassed to talk to her crush as you were trying to explain to me that you liked me,” Meiriana noted. “What was it you compared being in love to? Being stuck in caramel pudding?”

“Maker, I am never going to live that down am I?” Leliana sighed. “I’m pretty sure it was chocolate pudding.”

“No, I distinctly remember it being caramel because I had to ask Ella what ‘caramel’ actually is,” Meiriana argued though she was smiling.

“She isn’t wrong though,” she added, distinctly changing the tone of the conversation away from the lighthearted teasing as she looked down at the paper she’d written Jack’s description on. “Being named after Andraste, at a time like this. She really is living a fine line between devotion and heresy with every single action she takes as the supposed Herald of Andraste.”

“She seems pretty devoted to me,” Leliana replied. “The fact that she’s still trying to get the Chantry to accept us, well that’s one hell of a devotion right there. I worry for her, she’s like you, Meiriana. She’s the kind of person that’ll shape the course of the entire world. Either she’ll die young, or she’ll live to rip the stars straight from the sky, and she’s not dead yet.”


End file.
